Bad Romance

  • While substitute teaching today, 5th graders have been finishing up their PSSA's. (A huge standardized test where students must *GASP* sit in silence.)
  • Of course, I am asked to watch a 5th grade class at the very end of the day & of course, this is at the students' peak of rambunctiousness. Never fear, Miss Miller is here!
  • I notice, as the teacher leaves the room, there is one small redheaded, freckle-faced boy with a mischievous grin, who was particularly wound up, as I constantly had to remind him to siiiiiiiiit dowwwwwwn. Finally, I had to ask him...
  • Me: Buddy, is there like, a bug on your chair? You have ants in your pants? What's wrong with your chair, huh?!
  • Boy student: I can't sit!
  • Me: Duuuuude. Siiiiiiiiiiit.
  • Girl student in the front row: You're officially my favorite sub!
  • Me: Oh, why's that?
  • Girl: (Picture a Hermione from Harry Potter sorta voice) Because I don't like him!
  • Me: (Trying not to laugh) Why not?!
  • Boy: (Mischievous grin reappears) We dated.
  • I later was told by several girls that almost all of them had "dated" this boy. Aye yi yi...

Boys Are Weird

  • In the midst of covering 3rd grade language arts, I had this wonderful conversation...
  • Me: Boys and girls! Remember, you can't start a sentence with the word "because!"
  • Girl student: Boys are just so WEIRD! That's why they all start their sentences like that...
  • Me: Oh, just wait. They get weirder and weirder.
  • (Boy looks up behind bookshelf and grins creepily at us.)
  • I can't. Bahaha.